This story really never ends.....

Pete and Repeat  were in a boat. Pete fell out who was left?
That joke is a classic. I first heard it from Peter Mullally. I honestly believe that knowing Peter refined my sense of humor. This guy was a rockstar and a ninja and wasted no effort letting anyone know who he is. He could quiet a room full of people as they waited to hear what he would say next. He always had the perfect one liner and never missed a beat to provide the perfect punchline. 

I have a list of Classic Pete comments and stories that are not easy for me to present. But I will try to convey them as best I can. I fear some are the “You had to be there” type of stories. We’ll see.

One story....


One day I had been arguing with Peter about how lazy he is. There really wasn’t much of an argument. He asked me to do something for him, I said he was lazy and he said “am not”. That was pretty much it and I wandered off to another part of the house. I left him in my bedroom in front of a portable TV that might have been turned on and might not have been. A few minutes later he called me back into the room. He was jumping on my bed. I was kind of amazed. It wasn’t really something you would expect of Peter. Once he arrived he rarely moved except to light a cigarette or go to the bathroom. That’s probably not fair and me just trying to win the old argument that never happened, but I was surprised to see him jumping on the bed. 

He was kind of wild eyed and crazy and was saying how high he could jump. But I was scared. I quietly asked him to stop before he hurt himself. I begged him to stop and he kept jumping higher and harder. I finally yelled at him. “You’re going to break your neck!” He stopped. I was so relieved. Then he asked me to hand him a pillow to put on his head in case he hit the ceiling. For some reason this made perfect sense to me and I handed him a pillow. He put the pillow on his head and the stuffing from the pillow fell down to both sides leaving his head completely unprotected. he jumped as hard as he could and hit the ceiling and fell in a heap on the bed and rolled off onto the floor. I thought he might be dead. I shouldn’t have laughed. But it was so absurd I couldn’t help it.

Another story.....


One time we are all playing pool at my house. Peter’s girlfriend was mad at him as usual and he was ignoring her (also as usual). Cindy kept whining and pouting and she was getting really worked up and he just kept playing pool and joking around with the guys. I knew something was going to happen and I figured eventually Cindy would be reduced to tears. So the more he ignored her the more upset she got and her face was turning red and her eyes were welling up.

Finally he turned to Cindy and said “Your face is so red, if your stuck out your tongue you would look like a hemorrhoid.” Even though it was hysterical no one laughed. It wasn’t just the line. It was the delivery and the timing and the whole scene. It was classic Peter. Just like the joke that never ends.

Okay, here’s one more..... 

One day, Pete showed up at our house. He told my mom that he wrote a poem and he wanted her to read it. I knew he was up to something, but kept my mouth shut. He handed my mom a piece of notebook paper that was covered front and back with writing and my mother read it. When she was done she said “Peter, that is beautiful. You wrote this by yourself? My, you are very talented”. He smiled graciously and thanked her for the complement. He took the notebook paper back and tucked it into his pocket. 

He started to walk away and turned back to my mom and said “I also wrote music to go with it”.
Then he began to sing. He sang the first verse of the song “Both Sides Now”. At first my mother was completely engaged then she started to look puzzled and eventually you could almost see the light bulb go on over her head. She shook her head and told him she’d heard it before. Peter just shrugged his shoulders and moved on.  

I guess you had to be there. I’m glad I was.
:P