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Saturday, September 3, 2011

Philosophical Ramblings

“No one can get out” are the words I hear as I leave 7-11 after buying gas, coffee and a Power Ball ticket. Those words are strangely seductive to me and I wonder if it’s because of his accent. Indian men have always made me feel safe. It’s possible that it is simply a chemical attraction based on the fact that it is the only demographic I am aware of and in contact with that hasn’t at some point betrayed me or been accused of it by me.

A few seconds before this, he had said “good luck” to me with such sincerity, it made me want to win just so I could share it with his store. Deciding what one believes is so personal and so intimate while at the same time being universal and broadly promoted. The problem with deciding is it cuts you off from the benefits of other ideologies. Or perhaps that is a benefit. But I do believe, if only for now, that being certain of some absolute is most likely a dead end. I don’t do well with endings. It’s very possible that Infinity is still my god. Meanwhile it ebbs and flows and I am grateful for the differences in culture and habits. So I don’t really know what it is with me and my Asian friends. It’s still evolving.

With the girls it’s a sense of humor thing. They find me funny and I love how they “get me”. With the guys they just are so open that they seem to be offering some kind of protection or sanctuary and the offer is so fulfilling that I never feel the need to call them out on it. I met a lovely Indian man on a plane a few months back. We talked about philosophy and writing. I told him that I had just started blogging and he told me that he had just published a book. We traded websites and I felt like I had a complete relationship as I left the plane.   I bought his book and love it and I’m sure he checks in on my blog from time to time.

What’s not perfect about that? It’s part of who I am now. I take it with me. I bought a poster the other day with a Zen proverb on it. It said “The obstacles are the path”. I had no idea what it meant. I bought it because I liked the picture and thought it was humorously confusing. But somehow today after picking up my coffee, it makes perfect sense.  I’ll just keep rolling on and hopefully being amazed at what the universe seems to be teaching me. For now I’m in a stage of being completely amazed and excited by just what is observable. And I am convinced that it is possible to know only the tiniest fraction of what is knowable. 

So while not making less of the undeniable truth that each of us is unique; it is also true that we are certainly unique just like everyone else. That makes me feel safe too.               


  1. I drooled over every word. A perfect, concise exposition of what we all feel but cannot say nearly so well.

    A brilliant piece of writing.

  2. You are so cute when you drool. ;)

  3. I'm alwys cute, but there are those special moments.

  4. I'm in awe of your exquisite talent; this piece touched me, as you write about how we fit into the Universe, each in his/her own way through our unique perceptions. I love how more and more people are beginning to realize that their thoughts and emotions ARE what engage the invisible principles that operate here and now, for all of us.
    I like to observe my thoughts, and when I get quiet, I realize how many there are! When meditate, I notice weather they are thoughts of the past or future, and then let them float away for another time. It's a peaceful way to "be." When I take time to do this, I am more "present" in my every day life. It opens up a perspective to be, as you said, "...completely amazed and excited about just what is observable." xoxo

  5. See we must have been sisters in a former life. Growing up in the same town and never knowing each other must have been by design. When you think about it, you realize it must have been damn near impossible for us to miss each other living the same lives in the same place at the same time with all of the same companions. So here we are little sister. I can't wait to actually meet you. :P

  6. I've had a spiritual orgasm. I connect with every word.

    "I drooled over every word. A perfect, concise exposition of what we all feel but cannot say nearly so well.

    A brilliant piece of writing."

    ^^^ Me too. :)

  7. Attachment is that decision to select and hold belief. Anything can be belief, how you see the world and thus how you interact with it is belief, or attachment.

    The Buddhist notion of coming to see attachment and how it is a function of self, and then to let go of the contrivance of self, attachment, belief, and come to the moment you are in for your experience, your living, has a lot offer us westerners who have skewed to a very materialistic and attached state of mind.

    Too little self though and what point to living? A delicate and constantly evolving path, life.

    Is belief bad? No, only an obstacle if unseen and unchangeable. It would seem to be a requirement too, to have a life.

    Cool ramblings Patti.

  8. Thanks. Nice to hear your perspective, Banzan.